The unsettling thing is that, for the first time, he feels like he should truly start at the beginning. Maruki tests that impetus cautiously in his mind. The desire to speak candidly about Rumi and the actual act of doing so are two completely different things. Even with the half-truth he told Akira back at Shujin – the quarter-truth he told Eren here – he'd felt sick for hours afterwards. Up on a cliff, in the woods, he won't be able to cleanly escape the situation, shut himself off in a room. He has to be so, so careful.
He won't tell the whole truth. He can't. But he wasn't lying when he said he's more honest with Venat than anyone, so it starts with a simple disclaimer. ]
Ah, I should tell you up top that this won't be the full story. There are still parts that are too painful to discuss. I hope to be able to share all of them with you one day, but for now...
[ His free hand rubs over his face, up into his hair, the sensation tethering mind to body. ]
At one point, I was actually engaged. Nearly married, if you can believe it. Her name was Rumi.
[ He's thought of her every day in Somnius – spoken obliquely of her on occasion – and this is the first time he's actually said her name out loud. Even just that sends a ripple of uneasy pain through his body. ]
What she saw in me, I'll never know, but we were incredibly happy together for many years. Well, hah– relatively speaking, of course, a few years for me was a blink for you...
[ He's letting himself get distracted. Breathes. Refocuses. ]
It ended up not working out, obviously, but not because of anything either of us did. It's funny how random chance intervenes with fate, isn't it?
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-06-11 10:25 pm (UTC)Please. I'd really like that.
[ God, where to begin.
The unsettling thing is that, for the first time, he feels like he should truly start at the beginning. Maruki tests that impetus cautiously in his mind. The desire to speak candidly about Rumi and the actual act of doing so are two completely different things. Even with the half-truth he told Akira back at Shujin – the quarter-truth he told Eren here – he'd felt sick for hours afterwards. Up on a cliff, in the woods, he won't be able to cleanly escape the situation, shut himself off in a room. He has to be so, so careful.
He won't tell the whole truth. He can't. But he wasn't lying when he said he's more honest with Venat than anyone, so it starts with a simple disclaimer. ]
Ah, I should tell you up top that this won't be the full story. There are still parts that are too painful to discuss. I hope to be able to share all of them with you one day, but for now...
[ His free hand rubs over his face, up into his hair, the sensation tethering mind to body. ]
At one point, I was actually engaged. Nearly married, if you can believe it. Her name was Rumi.
[ He's thought of her every day in Somnius – spoken obliquely of her on occasion – and this is the first time he's actually said her name out loud. Even just that sends a ripple of uneasy pain through his body. ]
What she saw in me, I'll never know, but we were incredibly happy together for many years. Well, hah– relatively speaking, of course, a few years for me was a blink for you...
[ He's letting himself get distracted. Breathes. Refocuses. ]
It ended up not working out, obviously, but not because of anything either of us did. It's funny how random chance intervenes with fate, isn't it?