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[heartofthestar]

Hear.
Feel.
Think.
Call.
Message.

Comments

[heartofthestar]

And has anyone ever told you, 'you are breaking in, leave'?

I imagine Akechi might have once or twice, but that is how he pretends to be, after all.

[purrsonality]

. . . He's never said that.

Sometimes, he keeps pillows and quilts out for me.

[heartofthestar]

It sounds to me as if, rather than breaking in, you are being welcomed here unreservedly.

[purrsonality]

. . . Yeah.

This is mine too.

[heartofthestar]

Then I think we can safely say you have become part of the family.

[Said with a certain amount of bemusement, because no addition to it surprises her more greatly than herself.]

[purrsonality]

[ her ears droop. ]

Is that really possible for someone like me?

[heartofthestar]

If we choose it, and you choose it, that is all there is to it. Family may very readily be those who you choose to be your family, and in such a circumstance, there is no other criterion for it.

[purrsonality]

Family is more than choice.

[ at least. in her limited experience. people prioritize blood. connection. she's seen this. ]

[heartofthestar]

Is it? If a brother and sister turn out to not be related at all, do they suddenly become strangers to each other? If a couple raises a child that is not theirs by birth, are they not parents?

[purrsonality]

Some people will see it that way. Doesn't matter how long you raised someone, it's conditional.

It can go away.

[heartofthestar]

All the more reason, then, that blood and such binds mean less than choice. The challenge, then, is to trust in the face of fear, is it not?

[purrsonality]

Do you do that?

Trust in the face of fear?

[heartofthestar]

I have, but it must be admitted, I have ever had little to fear.

[purrsonality]

Why is it little?

[heartofthestar]

A fair question. In this time and place, I think the answer is simply that I am at peace with what has happened, and what will happen. Every moment I live is one I did not expect to have, and all the happiness and delight I feel is more than I ever anticipated. Thus, even though I know it will end someday, I need not fear that time, for it ending only means I had it to begin with.

[purrsonality]

Okay, but it sounds like you're living like it's gonna end.

And yeah, everything does.

But that's no way to live?

[heartofthestar]

Hmm. I think if I were living as if it were going to end, I'd not bother doing any of the things I do -- 'twould be pointless, after all. Instead, I accept the end will come, without hesitating to do anything I wish for fear of that end. That is how I see it, in any case.

[purrsonality]

[ hm. ]

So you're not thinking that?

[heartofthestar]

I think it matters not that it is all going to end at some point. We should live our lives just as we wish, without hesitation or fear, whether we have one day, one thousand, or one trillion.

[purrsonality]

Right.

But you didn't really answer my question.

[heartofthestar]

Ah. Forgive me. I was hoping that would answer your question indirectly, because in truth I am not entirely certain what it is you were asking that I am not thinking.

[Venat and Izutsumi have... let us say, great differences in their methods and styles of communication. Every once in a while, that can't help but cause a snag, right?]

[purrsonality]

[ oh. hm. that's fair. izutsumi turns her words over in her head. ]

I mean like . . . you're not always thinking about it, are you? In the back of your mind.

[heartofthestar]

No. Not in the least.

[For a while, she might have had that problem, in no small part because she was profoundly exhausted, and denied the opportunity to at last rest. But that has subsided with time, and though some amount of that weariness remains, the joys living has brought have been more than worth it.]

[purrsonality]

[ izutsumi nods, relieved. ]

Good. Otherwise you can't move ahead.

[heartofthestar]

[This brings to mind a thought, however.]

You needn't answer this question if you so desire, but what are your expectations for your own lifespan?