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[heartofthestar]

Hear.
Feel.
Think.
Call.
Message.

Comments

[purrsonality]

Some people will see it that way. Doesn't matter how long you raised someone, it's conditional.

It can go away.

[heartofthestar]

All the more reason, then, that blood and such binds mean less than choice. The challenge, then, is to trust in the face of fear, is it not?

[purrsonality]

Do you do that?

Trust in the face of fear?

[heartofthestar]

I have, but it must be admitted, I have ever had little to fear.

[purrsonality]

Why is it little?

[heartofthestar]

A fair question. In this time and place, I think the answer is simply that I am at peace with what has happened, and what will happen. Every moment I live is one I did not expect to have, and all the happiness and delight I feel is more than I ever anticipated. Thus, even though I know it will end someday, I need not fear that time, for it ending only means I had it to begin with.

[purrsonality]

Okay, but it sounds like you're living like it's gonna end.

And yeah, everything does.

But that's no way to live?

[heartofthestar]

Hmm. I think if I were living as if it were going to end, I'd not bother doing any of the things I do -- 'twould be pointless, after all. Instead, I accept the end will come, without hesitating to do anything I wish for fear of that end. That is how I see it, in any case.

[purrsonality]

[ hm. ]

So you're not thinking that?

[heartofthestar]

I think it matters not that it is all going to end at some point. We should live our lives just as we wish, without hesitation or fear, whether we have one day, one thousand, or one trillion.

[purrsonality]

Right.

But you didn't really answer my question.

[heartofthestar]

Ah. Forgive me. I was hoping that would answer your question indirectly, because in truth I am not entirely certain what it is you were asking that I am not thinking.

[Venat and Izutsumi have... let us say, great differences in their methods and styles of communication. Every once in a while, that can't help but cause a snag, right?]

[purrsonality]

[ oh. hm. that's fair. izutsumi turns her words over in her head. ]

I mean like . . . you're not always thinking about it, are you? In the back of your mind.

[heartofthestar]

No. Not in the least.

[For a while, she might have had that problem, in no small part because she was profoundly exhausted, and denied the opportunity to at last rest. But that has subsided with time, and though some amount of that weariness remains, the joys living has brought have been more than worth it.]

[purrsonality]

[ izutsumi nods, relieved. ]

Good. Otherwise you can't move ahead.

[heartofthestar]

[This brings to mind a thought, however.]

You needn't answer this question if you so desire, but what are your expectations for your own lifespan?

[purrsonality]

[ she blinks, perplexed. ]

I don't have any. I just assumed it was a human one.

[heartofthestar]

[Venat brings one hand to her mouth, failing utterly to hide a smile.]

Well, that is fair. I wondered if it might be different, given your circumstances.

[purrsonality]

It might be?

It's just not important. It'll happen when it needs to. That's okay.

[heartofthestar]

That is indeed fair. I ask only because I have found my outlook -- or rather, my people's outlook -- to be different in many ways, thanks to our prolonged lives. I wondered if such a consideration had affected you. Merely to understand better, not for any other cause or purpose.

[purrsonality]

[ ah. ]

Not me, personally.

But it made Marcille upset.

[heartofthestar]

I believe I recognize that name, but only that. A comrade of yours, then?

[purrsonality]

Yeah. She's . . . important to me.

[heartofthestar]

It sounds like there must be a story there.

[Venat fails to hide her bright smile behind her curled fingers.]

Which of course I would not pressure you to relate, but should you feel willing, it would not go amiss.

[purrsonality]

I guess there is?

We traveled the dungeon together. Laios, Marcille, Chilchuck, Senshi and me. And she looked after me. She combed my hair and gave me baths.