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[heartofthestar]

Hear.
Feel.
Think.
Call.
Message.

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[heartofthestar]

You may ask me whatever you wish, of course.

[headhooligan]

I just figured, since you talk a lot about the aetherial sea and how natural it all sounds...
Do you know what it’s like to die?

[heartofthestar]

That is a complicated question. Do you want to know what happens, or if I myself have died?

I have, in fact, but I did so in a way that is not quite conventional, so my experience may not be what you wish to know.

cw suicidal ideation in link

[headhooligan]

Either, I guess. If it’s not too painful to say.

I kind of just... want to know if it’s a relief. [Or at least, if it feels like one.]

[heartofthestar]

I have no doubt that some people think so. And I cannot fault them for feeling that way, though I do not believe it truly is.

When I died, I felt relief, but not because I was dying. I felt relief because of what it meant -- that mankind would find its way without me, needing me no longer. Perhaps it was not relief, but instead, satisfaction. One can welcome death, when one is satisfied with one's life. That was the custom of my people, who met with no natural end from age. Upon achieving their purpose, they returned to the star.

Death comes for everyone in turn -- for life cannot exist without death. It, then, falls to you to decide what your life means. Why you move forward, knowing each step takes you closer to the inevitable end. What your purpose is, when your ultimate fate is already decided. Why, being born, are you destined to die? Why, given life, are you fated to suffer?

Only you can answer that for yourself. But to surrender, to welcome death as an end to a miserable life, is to surrender on everything else that can be as well. In weakness, you find strength. In pain, you find joy. And in deepest despair... light, everlasting.

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey rereads the message. Again. Again. Several times over.

[It’s hardly the first time Venat’s words have rung through her soul. It might be the first she’s been truly ready to take that in, to sit with it and feel what it means to not surrender. To not want anyone else to, ever—and hang on, if only for them.

[To keep searching for something, no matter what.

[There’s a good delay before she responds.]

Thank you.

I really mean that. I don’t know if I’ve told you this, but a lot of what you’ve said to me... I think about it all the time. I know I’ll be doing the same for this. And I don’t know if I have answers yet, but...

People like you are my light.

[heartofthestar]

You and people like you are mine.

[headhooligan]

[ … ]

[She hits call.]

->audio

[heartofthestar]

[Venat doesn't drop her phone in surprise, but the sentiment is there.]

Oh, hello!

[headhooligan]

H-hi, Venat…

[Aubrey’s voice is choked and wavering. She manages a light laugh.]

S-sorry to surprise you… I kind of just. Wanted to hear your voice again, hah....

[heartofthestar]

I would be happy to come visit, if you like. You have yet to meet Argos, after all. I think you might like him.

[headhooligan]

[She sniffs. The state of her house is her last concern right now, for once.]

Yeah, I’d… I’d like that. [Inhale, shaky exhale.] Th-thank you, ah… Who’s Argos…?

[heartofthestar]

Might I ask for directions? Argos is my familiar.

[headhooligan]

R-right, um… I’m at my treehouse. It’s—

[Pause. There was some way to send a location, she’d done it before, but everything felt like a mess. Verbal instruction would have to do.]

If you’re headed here from town, I’m at the edge of the grounds. There’s a bridge, and— I can meet you and Argos somewhere, instead…?

[heartofthestar]

If you step outside, I will see you. One of the advantages of coming by air.

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey nods. Then remembers she’s on voice.] Yeah. I’ll wait outside, then.

Thanks again....

[She doesn’t hang up, but she does set the phone aside for a while. If Venat’s still listening, there’s a pause—some footsteps on wood, distant running water from a sink. Quiet; then the soft slash of a blade through long-dried overgrowth.

[The phone comes with her, pocketed, when she steps out. As described, Aubrey lives towards the northeast border of the treehouses; her house is small, and many tangles from the previous month have been left to wilt. A bridge off to one side, in better condition, connects it to a house that’s been cleared nigh-obsessively good as new.

[Aubrey herself looks fairly different than when she and Venat last saw each other, at least in broad daylight. Dark roots claw through her hair, and she’s scarcely worn her bright contacts since that long night. There’s also a pale yellow ribbon wrapped around her right wrist, like a bandage.

[Her face is still red, betraying a bigger outburst than the call did. But there’s a quiet, anxious anticipation in now-dry eyes. It’s light out today.

[Aubrey sits at the base of a nearby tree, looking up to the clouds with her chin in her hands, and waits.]

[heartofthestar]

[Perhaps, Aubrey, just perhaps -- it may be difficult to feel pain and despair over the world and the state of the people in it, when but a couple of minutes later, Venat descends towards the treehouse on the back of a massive Afghan hound. Venat, of course, would say the wonder in the world is not her atop Argos's back, but everything she sees from up there -- but that's Venat for you.]

[Argos lands gently by the tree, a respectful distance away, so that Venat can alight from him with the smooth grace of a practiced traveler. She leans in to murmur a few quick words to the hound, running her hand down his neck as she does, then straightens to approach Aubrey with a warm smile.]

[She suspects Aubrey needs something like a mother right now. All she has ever been is the goddess of a star, but she'll do her very best nonetheless.]

[headhooligan]

[It’s true. Existential malaise has nothing on a giant floating Afghan hound.

[Aubrey stands as soon as the familiar comes into view, and watches, borderline reverent, as Venat dismounts. Awe supersedes anything else, though there’s no shortage of relief in the smile that breaks out from Venat’s approach. She’s got half a mind to hug the woman. They’ve only really met in-person twice, but… they are friends, right? Venat means a lot to her.]

Hey.... Wow. [Breathless, and more than a little dumb. Aubrey’s not sure how much distance to close; there’s no sword at her side to gauge that for her. But she does step forward, almost tentative.] Big dog you got there.

[heartofthestar]

Argos and I traveled the world, back when I was an active traveler. Full glad am I indeed to be reunited with him here.

[Though the situation is slightly more complicated than that; as a familiar, this Argos is a creation of Venat's here, not the original construct that dwelt on the moon for ages until her champion found him. But thinking about that too much is simply not worthwhile, for the two shall not cross paths, nor is a familiar born from a concept truly not an original either.]

[Stepping forward to close the distance between then, Venat leaves a hand on her dog's shoulder as if too guide him. Argos is notoriously picky about the company he meets in many ways, but Venat had quite strictly told him of the two fights she had see Aubrey in and how he ought very well to respect that, so the hound patiently advances with his master, ducking his head a little so that Aubrey won't be intimidated.]

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey’s not intimidated at all; or, well, maybe a little as he gets closer. But not so much she doesn’t wave a bit, feeling a bit like she’s being introduced to her friend’s pet for the first time.

[Actually…] Can I… [Small throat clear.] Uh, may I, if it doesn’t disrespect your loyal companion…

Would he like a pet?

[heartofthestar]

By all means, please.

[Dear Aubrey, Venat wouldn't have brought him so close if she didn't intend to permit that! And Argos himself seems amenable, dropping down to a seated position as his tail describes slow arcs on the ground.]

[headhooligan]

[There is but one thought at the forefront of Aubrey’s mind, as she reaches forward: Do not baby-talk the millennia-old traveling companion. He is a regal familiar.]

Hey, Argos. [She holds out a hand, palm up, for him to sniff; and should that be approved, offers a good lil scritch on the bridge of his snout.]

[heartofthestar]

[Argos does indeed take that sniff, then permits the scritching with a slight acceleration of his tail. He's something of a staid dog, it seems.]

You sound as if you have been having a rough day.

[headhooligan]

[Fine with her. This is the… maybe not the best day of her life, but it has improved substantially.

[Venat’s words do temper the dog-petting glee a bit, though.]

Yeah.... [Aubrey sighs, venturing to run her hand over Argos’s fluffy cheek. He has well-done braids.] I mean, I guess there’s no point hiding it. My friend [a nod back towards that connected house] must’ve gone off to the labyrinth. And I went with another friend, and it…

[The smile drops fully. She keeps petting Argos, though it’s become an absent gesture.]

It almost killed us.

[heartofthestar]

[What can she say? Venat likes small braids such as that. Look at her own, after all. A little adornment, nothing fancy, merely something to add a little style.]

[The labyrinth. Of course it would be such a source of trouble... ]

Do you wish to talk about it?