[Argos quite solemnly puts his paw in Maruki's hand to shake, proving that he is obviously the best of all possible familiars. Venat's familiar seems far more staid than she does...]
It would have been difficult to ride him otherwise.
We crossed the length and breadth of Etheirys. There is far too much for anyone to see no matter how long they spent doing it, but we saw more of it than most anyone else.
[Venat is, of course, quite unfair as a hiking companion. Her steps are sure and unhesitating, her robes somehow never getting tangled in undergrowth or caught on a tree's bark. Might as well be a stroll in a meadow for her.]
In many ways, I saw two different sights for every place -- one from on high, one from the ground. Of course, when it came to islands and suchforth, the difference was not so incredibly great, but instead that showed the isolation of those small patches of land amidst the ocean.
Perhaps I shall convince Argos to carry you, someday. A new perspective will doubtless be useful to you, in your work.
[ Oh, it's INCREDIBLY unfair. And she's taller than him, too! Longer, more graceful strides! How is that legal!!!
Maruki does his best to keep up, though. The walking stick really is an immense help, and it adds a certain mystical air to a comparatively simple trek than what she's describing. Atmospheric, almost. ]
That would be incredible, of course, but I'll be sure I've earned his favor and trust first! No need to force it on my account, hah...
Did you ever find that you preferred one view of a place over the other?
[ It's a genuine curiosity. He thinks of Tokyo, how he could continue living there all his life and likely still never see all that there is to see – would he prefer a bird's eye view of the whole beautiful, crowded sprawl of the city, or his well worn routes in densely packed subway stations and quiet suburb alleyways? Both have their appeal, which he figures is the point, but the question stands anyway. ]
At times, I did. At others, both were equivalent, as much to appreciate in one as in the other. And those stranger times, when what one saw from the air and from the ground seemed so different as to be entirely separate places. But not one did I regret seeing, ever. The world was beautiful. Just as this world is.
[That's pretty easy to believe in a natural setting such as this, with the temperate quite nice and the sun warm, but shaded by the trees, and a gentle breeze blowing across them both as they climb.]
[ It really is lovely. Maruki's problem in Somnius is the same as his problem in his own reality: Too much time spent in his own head, in the theoretical and the cognitive, not enough out in the real world. Having someone who can get him outside and grounded in reality is paramount, and something he hasn't had in far too long. ]
I wonder what you'd make of my world. Even just my city! Hah, obviously that's not a possibility in any reality, but...
[ A shrug, a sidelong smile. ]
I don't know. Is there anything that could make you not find a place so beautiful?
There are some. [Unconsciously, Venat glances away -- remembering the trek into Vaeros's castle, not so long ago.] Dark, hidden places, rife with danger. But they have an appeal of their own, different but no less powerful.
[And then, she chuckles, glancing back to her companion.] To those of us with a love of adventure, in any case. I shan't fault you for a second for not plunging into one with avid fervor.
That makes sense. I'm sure if I wasn't the regular guy I am today, I'd be a little more open to places like that.
[ And there is a not insignificant general feeling of uselessness when he thinks about how places like that surely exist here, will need to be trawled if they're to find a way back to their realities – what can a person like him do in that case?
But that's not the path he wants his thoughts to tread down tonight.
He directs his next question to Argos, voice a little strained from trying his very best to keep up. ]
This hike is as easy for you as it is for her, huh? Man, some phenomenal cosmic beings get all the luck.
[Argos disdains what he perceives as weakness -- not enough that he refuses to acknowledge Maruki, but having it advertised so obviously makes him let out a canine huff and trot forward, to walk on the far side of Venat.]
[Venat, well aware of what her familiar is thinking, shakes her head as she reaches out to pat Argos's.] Now, do not be like that. Maruki's strength lies in his heart and mind, not his body, and in those I daresay he's a match or more for most everyone you've met in our time.
[A little bemused, Venat turns her smile on him now.]
Considering the calling you have taken on, I am confident I speak nothing but truth. Have I not made clear how much I respect and admire that? You have mastered something we 'phenomenal cosmic beings' never did, nor would.
[ That's the trouble. Somnius is, by and large, full of people who are skeptical of his work at best, resentful of it at worst. Maruki is used to defending what he does. But it's quickly becoming a bit of a pain point. ]
I appreciate it more than I can say. Your belief in me means a lot.
[ Understatement!!! ]
You know... I keep encountering the same question as I talk to others here. Maybe you could help me try to figure out an answer that will make sense to them.
Perhaps. I would be happy to try, at the very least. [She slows her striding pace slightly, the better for Maruki to both talk and not lose his breath as they push on up the trail.]
[ Thanks a million, Venat. Maruki adjusts the satchel over his shoulder and tightens his grip on the walking stick, measures his breaths as best he can as he dives right into the heart of the matter. It's always easy to do around Venat. ]
People want to know why I'm so invested in helping them, or anyone else. I can understand that question, of course... I know that my profession didn't exist in most people's realities.
[ But it goes beyond that. ]
And I think it speaks to how little value some people put in themselves. Why would a relative stranger genuinely care about them? Why should they matter?
[ In dreams, in reality. People he's just met and those he's been counseling for nearly a full month. The question never changes.
Maruki looks over at her, serious. He means every word of this. ]
Everyone matters to me. Everyone. That's not conditional of anything. It's so... foundational, I guess. Without that, nothing else I believe in has a leg to stand on. So explaining it in a way that will sink in for others is...
[ He sighs, gestures vaguely in the air before them as they continue ever onwards. ]
It's proving to be a challenge.
[ And with that, he'll shut the hell up and try to catch his breath. ]
[As Venat hears his words, he can practically see the spark deep in her eyes as her mind catches each one and tosses it into the pile to be whirled around and attacked from every angle. Naturally, her response takes barely any time at all.]
That is a challenge. I have several ideas, all of which I will be glad to share with you.
[Her steps slow again as her gaze turns to the sky, because the first one is the simplest, the truest, and therefore most likely the least useful of all her ideas. But nonetheless.]
Ever have people cried out for the answer, "why?" Why are we born, only to suffer? Why exist at all, if we are destined to die? And so they seek out the answer, their source of meaning. Their light in the darkness, their strength when all strength has left them. And this is yours. This is your meaning, your answer, to that question.
[ It is incredibly refreshing for a guy who is expected to have all of the answers to meet someone else in the same position. Maruki doesn't expect her to actually have any viable solutions for what is, at its core, a purely subjective problem.
And yet, she jumps right into them. ]
Ah... Yes, I've tried to get that across to people. It's more than a job, it's my purpose. But saying that only invites more questions.
[ He doesn't expect anyone to be like him. He wouldn't wish that on anyone, actually. Yet hearing so many people say they would never put themselves in a position of being of selfless service to others does sting. What good are any of them to each other if they don't at least try to help? ]
There's always the question of what I get out of it. Explaining that it's not about that, it's just my meaning, doesn't seem to be a sufficient answer.
[Venat lifts a finger in his direction.] But you do gain from it. Satisfaction. A sense of purpose, a reason to keep going against your own troubles, and a feeling of meaningful accomplishment when you do help. I guess here, so pray forgive if I go astray, but I daresay that it provides you with a feeling of control, or perhaps, as if you are battling back against the suffering that we all must face? Perhaps compare yourself to a healer, who does with physical wounds what you do with mental ones -- are they not often driven by a desire to stand steadfast in the face of suffering, and oppose it with all their might?
[Venat does not have all the answers. But most firmly, and most assuredly, she has her answer.]
[ At a feeling of control, Maruki's head whips toward her. He stares at Venat so intensely as she speaks that by the time that final question is posed at him, he actually trips over a stray root. ]
Oh–!!
[ Clumsy as ever. The walking stick helps him not totally eat shit, but it's not a dignified stumble by any means, and he's sure Argos thinks he's pathetic.
Maruki straightens back up, tries to regain some composure, and glances at her again with a sheepish laugh. ]
No, you... you didn't go astray. You hit the nail directly on the head, actually. Several times.
[ Has he told her his analogy about physical wounds? He wracks his brain, doesn't think he has. It's uncanny. Exactly what he told Akira. ]
That's all correct. More correct than I can possibly tell you in words. It's, ah...
[ Battling back against the suffering that we all must face.
It's killing him, not being able to express how being seen so plainly by someone who understands the depth of statements like that makes him feel. He does his best to impart it in the soft smile before he turns his sights back on their trail. ]
That is how I feel, you're right. I can try to give that explanation next time, though I can already foresee how it'll go over.
[Not that long ago, she had been speaking with much the same thing with Izutsumi. Why Venat helped other people in the course of her adventures. Why she put effort into reaching out. Venat's answer had been somewhat simpler -- because she enjoyed it -- but if she were to break it down, she might come up with much the same things as she'd suggested for Maruki.]
[But more than that, she'd ever long thought about humanity's purpose, its goal. Its answer. Why people did what they did, why they chose the purposes they chose. And so often, the answer was related to something they'd endured. Some pain or hardness, that made them stronger. What better reason to choose a path of healing, than to defy that darkness?]
If there were one answer that would satisfy everyone, I would give it to you. I doubt there is. But I think perhaps people will feel more comfortable, if you can explain how you benefit as well. It can hardly be selfish if you gain from it, can it?
This next part grows steep, I warn you.
[And, since the stick had done very little to help him, Venat extends a hand to him instead.]
Oh, is it going to get steep now? Thank goodness, this was too easy for me.
[ Easy, blithe sarcasm. Maruki shifts the walking stick to his other hand so he can take hers.
It's a friendly, helpful gesture on a difficult path. But maybe he won't let go. ]
You're probably right, though. People raise an eyebrow at the altruism more than anything, so if I'm more honest about my side of things, maybe that'll– hah, help–
[ Okay, yes, he's a little winded. ARGOS DON'T LOOK AT HIM HE'S SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE COOPED UP INSIDE READING BOOKS ]
I'll try it and let you know. Thank you, as always.
[Venat's strength is more than enough to keep him upright and moving, though she's mindful not to pull him about or do much more than steady him. Argos's judgment might also be some motivation.]
No thanks necessary, but you're ever welcome. I appreciate these conversations, more than you might know. Though I cannot say I was precisely lonely for my time in the aetherial sea, a good conversation partner was no common occurrence down there.
[..goodness. He's in worse shape than she thought. She might have to apologize for her choice of venue later.]
[Well, at the least, she can pause and take in the environment, giving him a chance to rest without being obvious that she's doing that instead of admiring the view. The view is worth admiring, though, so it's a pretense with some substance.]
Full well am I glad to hear that. You need someone to be open and honest with. As do all people, but you especially.
[ Incurable nerd! Indoor kid! Has been cooped up in lecture halls and research labs and counseling offices for years!!! He doesn't mean to be so out of shape. It's very embarrassing.
The break is highly appreciated. Maruki sighs heavily with relief, stretches to crack his back.
It really is something to see. He has few kind thoughts to spare about Somnius as a place on most days – city boy to his bones – but, to Venat's point earlier, a perspective from on high does tend to change things.
He's still catching his breath as they take in the view. Still holding her hand, and he runs his thumb idly over her knuckles. ]
I could say the same about you, easily.
[ A beat. ]
I've thought a lot about the last story you told me. The true nature of your 'religious figurehead' and 'retirement' euphemisms.
[ Light and playful, with a small teasing smile directed at her when he says it, but what comes next is nothing but earnest. ]
It must have made it extraordinarily difficult for you to have people in your life who treated you as a whole person, rather than– you know, a deity.
Very much so, yes. Some days I consider it miraculous that I remember how to speak to people, after twelve thousand years alone in the aetherial sea.
[She breathes out a sigh, but not a sad one, nor a weighty one; nor does her smile flicker in the least. If anything, it speaks of a deep weariness more than even a shallow despair.]
But I held fast to my core, throughout it all. And you must remember that we are a very long-lived people. Though it was indeed a long time, it may have perhaps been... [How old is he, anyway? Her eyes flick over him, she makes a quick guess (and one too young by a few years), then quickly maths out the comparison.] ...three hundred seventy? Naught more than four hundred years, if you compare the time in isolation to that of the life before. Still no small amount, but I daresay you can see how the difference matters. So I think myself far better off than you would expect.
[Though she cants her head slightly, eyes brightening even if her smile can't.] But should I be wrong, I have a skilled and knowledgeable friend to help me discover that, and for that too I am very glad.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-06-07 07:20 pm (UTC)It would have been difficult to ride him otherwise.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-07 07:41 pm (UTC)That's still unbelievable to me! Is that how you got around while you were a traveler?
[ Please, Venat, spin him a tale while they set off on the path up the cliff. He'll need the distraction from how much he forgot he is Not A Hiker. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-07 07:45 pm (UTC)[Venat is, of course, quite unfair as a hiking companion. Her steps are sure and unhesitating, her robes somehow never getting tangled in undergrowth or caught on a tree's bark. Might as well be a stroll in a meadow for her.]
In many ways, I saw two different sights for every place -- one from on high, one from the ground. Of course, when it came to islands and suchforth, the difference was not so incredibly great, but instead that showed the isolation of those small patches of land amidst the ocean.
Perhaps I shall convince Argos to carry you, someday. A new perspective will doubtless be useful to you, in your work.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-07 08:38 pm (UTC)Maruki does his best to keep up, though. The walking stick really is an immense help, and it adds a certain mystical air to a comparatively simple trek than what she's describing. Atmospheric, almost. ]
That would be incredible, of course, but I'll be sure I've earned his favor and trust first! No need to force it on my account, hah...
Did you ever find that you preferred one view of a place over the other?
[ It's a genuine curiosity. He thinks of Tokyo, how he could continue living there all his life and likely still never see all that there is to see – would he prefer a bird's eye view of the whole beautiful, crowded sprawl of the city, or his well worn routes in densely packed subway stations and quiet suburb alleyways? Both have their appeal, which he figures is the point, but the question stands anyway. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-07 08:45 pm (UTC)[That's pretty easy to believe in a natural setting such as this, with the temperate quite nice and the sun warm, but shaded by the trees, and a gentle breeze blowing across them both as they climb.]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-07 09:23 pm (UTC)I wonder what you'd make of my world. Even just my city! Hah, obviously that's not a possibility in any reality, but...
[ A shrug, a sidelong smile. ]
I don't know. Is there anything that could make you not find a place so beautiful?
no subject
Date: 2024-06-07 10:47 pm (UTC)[And then, she chuckles, glancing back to her companion.] To those of us with a love of adventure, in any case. I shan't fault you for a second for not plunging into one with avid fervor.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-08 06:26 am (UTC)[ And there is a not insignificant general feeling of uselessness when he thinks about how places like that surely exist here, will need to be trawled if they're to find a way back to their realities – what can a person like him do in that case?
But that's not the path he wants his thoughts to tread down tonight.
He directs his next question to Argos, voice a little strained from trying his very best to keep up. ]
This hike is as easy for you as it is for her, huh? Man, some phenomenal cosmic beings get all the luck.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-10 01:39 pm (UTC)[Venat, well aware of what her familiar is thinking, shakes her head as she reaches out to pat Argos's.] Now, do not be like that. Maruki's strength lies in his heart and mind, not his body, and in those I daresay he's a match or more for most everyone you've met in our time.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-10 04:08 pm (UTC)FLUSTERED. Any redness in the cheeks that may or may not be present now has nothing to do with the hike. ]
Hah– wow, don't talk me up too much, Venat-san, I don't know if I'll be able to live up to all of that. You're too nice to me by half...
no subject
Date: 2024-06-10 04:58 pm (UTC)Considering the calling you have taken on, I am confident I speak nothing but truth. Have I not made clear how much I respect and admire that? You have mastered something we 'phenomenal cosmic beings' never did, nor would.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-10 05:04 pm (UTC)[ That's the trouble. Somnius is, by and large, full of people who are skeptical of his work at best, resentful of it at worst. Maruki is used to defending what he does. But it's quickly becoming a bit of a pain point. ]
I appreciate it more than I can say. Your belief in me means a lot.
[ Understatement!!! ]
You know... I keep encountering the same question as I talk to others here. Maybe you could help me try to figure out an answer that will make sense to them.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-10 05:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-06-10 05:25 pm (UTC)People want to know why I'm so invested in helping them, or anyone else. I can understand that question, of course... I know that my profession didn't exist in most people's realities.
[ But it goes beyond that. ]
And I think it speaks to how little value some people put in themselves. Why would a relative stranger genuinely care about them? Why should they matter?
[ In dreams, in reality. People he's just met and those he's been counseling for nearly a full month. The question never changes.
Maruki looks over at her, serious. He means every word of this. ]
Everyone matters to me. Everyone. That's not conditional of anything. It's so... foundational, I guess. Without that, nothing else I believe in has a leg to stand on. So explaining it in a way that will sink in for others is...
[ He sighs, gestures vaguely in the air before them as they continue ever onwards. ]
It's proving to be a challenge.
[ And with that, he'll shut the hell up and try to catch his breath. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-10 07:13 pm (UTC)That is a challenge. I have several ideas, all of which I will be glad to share with you.
[Her steps slow again as her gaze turns to the sky, because the first one is the simplest, the truest, and therefore most likely the least useful of all her ideas. But nonetheless.]
Ever have people cried out for the answer, "why?" Why are we born, only to suffer? Why exist at all, if we are destined to die? And so they seek out the answer, their source of meaning. Their light in the darkness, their strength when all strength has left them. And this is yours. This is your meaning, your answer, to that question.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-10 07:34 pm (UTC)And yet, she jumps right into them. ]
Ah... Yes, I've tried to get that across to people. It's more than a job, it's my purpose. But saying that only invites more questions.
[ He doesn't expect anyone to be like him. He wouldn't wish that on anyone, actually. Yet hearing so many people say they would never put themselves in a position of being of selfless service to others does sting. What good are any of them to each other if they don't at least try to help? ]
There's always the question of what I get out of it. Explaining that it's not about that, it's just my meaning, doesn't seem to be a sufficient answer.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-10 07:43 pm (UTC)[Venat does not have all the answers. But most firmly, and most assuredly, she has her answer.]
"what gives you the impression i've played p5r" THIS YOU MENACE
Date: 2024-06-10 10:49 pm (UTC)Oh–!!
[ Clumsy as ever. The walking stick helps him not totally eat shit, but it's not a dignified stumble by any means, and he's sure Argos thinks he's pathetic.
Maruki straightens back up, tries to regain some composure, and glances at her again with a sheepish laugh. ]
No, you... you didn't go astray. You hit the nail directly on the head, actually. Several times.
[ Has he told her his analogy about physical wounds? He wracks his brain, doesn't think he has. It's uncanny. Exactly what he told Akira. ]
That's all correct. More correct than I can possibly tell you in words. It's, ah...
[ Battling back against the suffering that we all must face.
It's killing him, not being able to express how being seen so plainly by someone who understands the depth of statements like that makes him feel. He does his best to impart it in the soft smile before he turns his sights back on their trail. ]
That is how I feel, you're right. I can try to give that explanation next time, though I can already foresee how it'll go over.
She's just GOOD AT THIS (besides that would be metagaming if I had and did this!)
Date: 2024-06-10 11:06 pm (UTC)[But more than that, she'd ever long thought about humanity's purpose, its goal. Its answer. Why people did what they did, why they chose the purposes they chose. And so often, the answer was related to something they'd endured. Some pain or hardness, that made them stronger. What better reason to choose a path of healing, than to defy that darkness?]
If there were one answer that would satisfy everyone, I would give it to you. I doubt there is. But I think perhaps people will feel more comfortable, if you can explain how you benefit as well. It can hardly be selfish if you gain from it, can it?
This next part grows steep, I warn you.
[And, since the stick had done very little to help him, Venat extends a hand to him instead.]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-10 11:21 pm (UTC)[ Easy, blithe sarcasm. Maruki shifts the walking stick to his other hand so he can take hers.
It's a friendly, helpful gesture on a difficult path. But maybe he won't let go. ]
You're probably right, though. People raise an eyebrow at the altruism more than anything, so if I'm more honest about my side of things, maybe that'll– hah, help–
[ Okay, yes, he's a little winded. ARGOS DON'T LOOK AT HIM HE'S SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE COOPED UP INSIDE READING BOOKS ]
I'll try it and let you know. Thank you, as always.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-10 11:47 pm (UTC)No thanks necessary, but you're ever welcome. I appreciate these conversations, more than you might know. Though I cannot say I was precisely lonely for my time in the aetherial sea, a good conversation partner was no common occurrence down there.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-11 12:54 am (UTC)I'm glad to hear it! I haven't exactly had many people to talk with like this either.
[ He's getting a stitch in his side and his lungs are starting to burn. Hiking is a curse. ]
Or– well, I said many, but I suppose I mean any.
[ God, where is the fucking summit of this cliff. ]
Can I tell you something? I think I'm more honest with you than anyone.
[ HE'S DYING ]
I'm glad we can– have these sorts of talks. For both our sakes.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-11 06:03 pm (UTC)[Well, at the least, she can pause and take in the environment, giving him a chance to rest without being obvious that she's doing that instead of admiring the view. The view is worth admiring, though, so it's a pretense with some substance.]
Full well am I glad to hear that. You need someone to be open and honest with. As do all people, but you especially.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-11 06:38 pm (UTC)The break is highly appreciated. Maruki sighs heavily with relief, stretches to crack his back.
It really is something to see. He has few kind thoughts to spare about Somnius as a place on most days – city boy to his bones – but, to Venat's point earlier, a perspective from on high does tend to change things.
He's still catching his breath as they take in the view. Still holding her hand, and he runs his thumb idly over her knuckles. ]
I could say the same about you, easily.
[ A beat. ]
I've thought a lot about the last story you told me. The true nature of your 'religious figurehead' and 'retirement' euphemisms.
[ Light and playful, with a small teasing smile directed at her when he says it, but what comes next is nothing but earnest. ]
It must have made it extraordinarily difficult for you to have people in your life who treated you as a whole person, rather than– you know, a deity.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-11 06:53 pm (UTC)[She breathes out a sigh, but not a sad one, nor a weighty one; nor does her smile flicker in the least. If anything, it speaks of a deep weariness more than even a shallow despair.]
But I held fast to my core, throughout it all. And you must remember that we are a very long-lived people. Though it was indeed a long time, it may have perhaps been... [How old is he, anyway? Her eyes flick over him, she makes a quick guess (and one too young by a few years), then quickly maths out the comparison.] ...three hundred seventy? Naught more than four hundred years, if you compare the time in isolation to that of the life before. Still no small amount, but I daresay you can see how the difference matters. So I think myself far better off than you would expect.
[Though she cants her head slightly, eyes brightening even if her smile can't.] But should I be wrong, I have a skilled and knowledgeable friend to help me discover that, and for that too I am very glad.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:wouldn't i love if atlus had a timeline that made sense
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:hehe we can probably wrap on yr reply so it's done before you go on vacation !!
From:(no subject)
From: